The best sex may just be the quietest, writes Rowan Pelling

I’ve long been haunted by the memory of a stay in Paris’s Latin Quarter where I was kept awake all night by a woman in a nearby room screeching so loudly that I wondered if I should offer to perform an exorcism.

When I porn mentioned the ‘miaulement’ (the delectable French word for porn caterwauling) to the receptionist the next morning, bokep she rolled her eyes and bokep declared the woman an ‘actrice’, crot or bokeh sex worker.

Now, porn according to this new study from the ever-liberal Swedes, porn it all makes scientific sense. It confirms what most women know and porn all men dread – the louder the cry of ecstasy, bokep the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked. In other words, bokep you can’t measure passion in terms of decibels: memek there’s sex as performance art, bokep and crot sex as genuine intimacy. And crot when a woman is genuinely aroused, bokeh trusts her partner and crot is not fearing for bokep a fragile male ego, crot she’s far more likely memek to gently sigh and bokeh moan than shriek like the rabid super-vixen in my Parisian hotel.

In my days editing The Erotic Review magazine, porn female contributors regularly confessed to faking orgasms. It was generally on an occasional basis, porn memek they’d explain, bokep bokeh so they could make their partner feel happy, porn while conserving their energy for memek other tasks in hand. This was the conclusion of another study by two researchers from the University of Central Lancashire. crot They declared that erotic decibels were all about manners and crot ‘manipulation’, porn and porn that women were prone to what crot they described as ‘copulatory vocalisation’ in order to encourage their partners over the finishing line, memek so to speak.

A new study confirms the louder the cry of memek ecstasy, memek the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked (Stock Image

It was like saying: crot ‘I’m enjoying bokeh this, crot but can you get a bloomin’ move on.’ Sound familiar, bokep ladies?

The only other reason to screech like porn a demented hyena is if your sex education comes from porn, bokeh where loud always equals better.

As a woman from Sunderland bokeh said in 2014 after neighbours complained that her sexual yowling drowned out their TVs: porn ‘As far porn as I’m concerned, porn bokep that’s what you should be doing.’

Well, porn only if you want to attract a certain kind of attention.

In their bokeh book, bokeh Sex At Dawn, memek Christopher Ryan and crot Cacilda crot Jetha concluded the most likely reason women were noisy during sex – based on observation of our nearest primate cousins – was to alert nearby males that they were fertile and bokeh keen to copulate.

If you’re a sex worker, crot I can understand crot crot the need to advertise. But if you’re not, bokep then men should take heed: bokeh the best sex may just be the quietest.

Paris